Quote of the day:

Woman screaming at her husband 

as they enter a parking lot:

"Just because the ambulances go by at high speeds 

does NOT mean they want to race you!"

Quote of the day:

This morning on my way to work,

my Middle Eastern cab driver 
got stuck behind a 

slow-driving, constantly-braking SUV.

In frustration, he raised his fist in the air and shouted,

"He's killing me!

He's killing me softly with his stops!"

Best imaginable start to the day.

Life lesson of the day:

When Outlook spell check pops up, be careful what you click.

Otherwise, when emailing a client named Evangelia, 

you might accidentally change her name to Evangelical... and call her that...

 multiple times... 

in the same email.

Life lesson of the day:

If you want to capture a photo of a strange-looking man on the bus with your camera phone, try to look like you're texting when you're actually taking his picture.

...unfortunately, forgetting to turn the flash off of your phone will ruin this little ruse and lead to an awkward encounter with the aforementioned strange-looking man instead.

Quote of the day:

"I used to think it was 'Hey Jew' like the song was just for 

our people.  

Especially that one line where it's like, 

'Hey Jew, don't be afraid.'  

Always thought it was referring to the Holocaust..."

- Liz recounting her childhood interpretation 

of a popular Beatles song

Life lesson of the day:

Don't ask the person interviewing you for a job

if they're pregnant because they're 

"wearing a pregnant girl dress."

Quote of the day:

"You're probably still sleeping now since I received a voicemail from you at 4am. 

You were playing the harmonica." 

- Message from my manager at noon