Life lesson of the day:

If you do not own a toaster and want to cook a Poptart,

you should not set the aforementioned tart on foil

and the oven on broil

and assume it will be safe to touch with your bare hands

in a mere three minutes.

On the other hand,

if you want to develop 
an enormous blister

on the tip of your pointer finger,

follow those exact steps.

And be sure to touch the frosting.